IN MY MIND, Flashes,
Nothing totally whole, still-frames defined,
Mostly in Winter, more fragmented Summer.
All out of order.
My Brother,
Black, utilitarian fingerless gloves and
The Black Leather Duster,
Smoke in hand,
He is
A Superhero.
My Brother
Protects me from the Monsters.
So brave and so strong,
So smart and so kind.
Loved like he Raged,
Completely and Honestly.
My Brother,
Renfest twilights,
Swords, mead and fireworks,
Monk's robe and borrowed boots.
He wore sandals and shorts in the snow, and
Black every day in high school
Because they told him he couldn't-
Katy in the '90s.
He went to classes sometimes.
Pink Converse (I Will Not Stop)
We stood, apart, on a beach at winter-tide.
I hold those memories tight-clenched at my side,
and though I can't, I hold your hand still tightly twined in mine.
In my mind, no divide.
If they try to dissolve our sacred vows,
I'll resolve to keep mine anyhow
No Devil's curse, no universe could ever deny me now.
I return to you, my love, somehow...
Right now.
The power to hold me has been defined
Within the confines of your mind
Now no one can hold me on the road to you.
And I will not stop 'til I can trace
The well-lov-ed contours of your face,
Until I can race into the stellar blue,
With you...
Following close behind Snape's irritated exclamation, an Uncomfortable Silence swept in, pulled a book off a shelf, turned on some nice, soothing music, poured itself a tall glass of red wine and generally threatened to make a night of it. Harry tossed glances to Hermione and Ron,(shocked and stunned, repectively) to MacGonagall(somewhat mortified but covering it well) to Snape(resignedly bitter, as usual) and to Sinistra(about to wet herself from repressed laughter.) It was not until after the Uncomfortable Silence started in on its fifth game of solitaire that Harry actually managed to force his mouth to make sounds.
"Um.." Harry said, lam
A thousand free grapes at Whole Foods,
A piper at the chapel,
A hundred blossoming fruit-woods,
Twenty roasted apples,
A grackle walking 'longside me,
A lilting monarch butterfly,
"All You Need is Love," on my mp3,
A barrista boy with Caribbean eyes,
Victorian Earl Grey in my cup,
Smiles on foreign faces,
Daffodils, trumpets up,
Mosquito hawks in races,
Zira smiles and Crowley hoots,
Agnes laughs in wonder,
My Sister-Queen is wedded, w0ot!
To the first-born Prince of Summer.
for Thzinc and Zuzi
You could have it all,
My empire of dirt.
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt.
She took in another of a seemingly endless number of shuddering breaths as the water hit her face and fell back into the basin. There was no helping it- no matter how much water she splashed on herself, she couldn't seem to wake up. She pushed her wet hands through her hair, the tangled curls letting her go only so far. She let out a deep, low sob.
"Oh, God..." Her whole body shuddered and she collapsed, clinging to the basin like a castaway to a life raft. For a long time, the only sounds were her choked breath and the water dripping onto the tile.
Pe
There once was a garden, full blood roses, and
Orchids in the water-seasons, and
Vampires in the winter, all
Frock coats and lace and
Heath Ledger pretending,
And I was looking on
a Train-crash relation,
His hands on her flushed face
and his finger in his buddy's jar
Hardy har-har,
Pretending, pretending
While each word was cutting new
Wounds for the salting,
Her eyes glazing over like puddles in winter,
Blood puddles in winter,
And all I was, when I should have been screaming
was
Dreaming, dreaming.
Always of you, always, always you...
When he turned his hand in mine I always turned away.
I think back to water-light o
Give me fifteen minutes
to Breathe you in
to absorb you like O2
to Drown in your eyes
Give me five minutes
to taste your blues
to memorize your melody
and the prosody of your features
the calling ballad of your soul
Lord willing that you'll speak
Aside to me again
to be eneveloped in the warmth of
Your Tone.
Give me six hours
to hold you in like-sleep
to share the warmth of your mind
to somehow bridge these walls
Give me a Thousand Days
to memorize your mannerisms
to record your ways
to decide my actions
Give me a million years
and a fraction of my task
lost in your eyes I might complete.
Give me this
last second
to
I Walk Alone-
The choice is hard to make you know,
To stand beside or run away,
the choice- to know a home
or be myself.
I dare not dare.
I walk alone,
to spare the path
of one less suited to walk
in feeble mind I may talk
it up a storm but I know
the wrong in that dream...
You might be my home-
therefore I walk alone-
Not for your sake but a selfish one,
My protection.
I walk alone, not in bravery but fear,
not in honesty to keep you clear
of pain and woe that spins from me:
to set you free...
no.
but to protect my sanity
you must go.
Not one more chance at reality.
Therefore before you make me feel
what is all-
i'm afraid.
afraid again and tiny in my skin
i'm afraid
afraid of kin
tiny in my skin
tiny in my skin
you let me in...
now...
now...
how do i let you in?
I remember i left a door around here somewhere
for a long time it was open wide to the sun
but someone
came in with the moon
tore apart my room
and to the flies i
turned a crying eye and
slammed the door...
thought"what for?
Why keep it open?
if thing just get broken?"
And i thought myself strong.
i thought myself all forms of wise
power mine all along
to turn away all lies
but the truth that i hide..
is what i locked inside
with me..
a new assailant cut out
smile.
please,
just a
few times for me i
find i need that smile
that
single
beautiful,
odd,
nearly meaningless,
odd,
hopeful,
weird
smile...
for
a few minutes,
when i see it
i can grin
again
like you,
and forget
forget
for
in that single
meaningbending
smile
i find all lies
but moreso
all truths
fused into a
calm sort of
half-life
separate from
yet party of, to
life.
so please,
smile,
eyes all-focused,
game well played,
truth skirted
i miss you
often.
but i dare not miss you.
you hear me.
this time..
i am heard.
so smile, if you
so desire,
and,
if you like,
i shall as well,
smile to
over
and under
I faltered a moment
my breathing cyclical
I know what I'm starting
is over, is under
is truthing my borders
I carried my ocean
and yet I break
I wanted
but nothing and
sought something naughting
a crazy
a fielding
I wanted
not needed I hoped
for the answer
and chancing this dancer
I carried my heartstrings
and yet I play.
I'm crazy
I know it
but something
is nothing
I'm crazy
I showed it
my heart all-a-parting
I carried my hubris
and yet I mourn.
Believing me
Human
I trusted
emotion
and logic
denying I needed to
know it
But knowing is useless
and using is fruitless
and hoping is keeping
Must
If I dare to stay
One
Moment
Longer
I must
Breathe
please
breathe
please
My air is going cold
If I had all the life in me, if I...
Breathe.
How does one breathe?
The air clogs my skin
I
Can't write
for all the choke
for all the smoke-
I-
How?
Breathe,
Breathe, come on,
if you don't, if you don't,
if you don't..
Control.
Control.
Breathe.
So much stronger than the air,
Like the very life that
you breathe,
Like the heart you seek,
Breathe.
Breathe.
In the movements of the sands find your air.
Peace, peace, peace..piece of peace.
Breathe me out.
Breathe you in.
Hold on, just these
last thirteen seco
Complimentary Costume Mistress,
Exhausted, Iron in hand,
Looking down your eyes of Blue
Heads or Tails of either.
I can't be peaceful all the time.
I need a breather, Something made of
Abstract Flesh and time,
Where I,
Unafraid of errors can make them all
ANd never remember.
I Wish, Like I did
before that
I had something close to sanity
A waste of good talent,
you'd all-ways say.
I'm not sure
I can do this
Much longer.
I need
I think
Some time in your eyes
But if I took it,
We'd all too soon be
all out.
Sewing when I'm hungry.
Sleeping when I've work to do
Eating when I'm tired
Almost just like
nothing like you.
O
I find it strange
In this cold - true
That in my heat,
I have no faith,
at least, it seems
in you.
I am afraid of all I've been
Dripping my anger like
blood-honey
Calloused over for
want of Money
But that's got
nothing
to do with you
And I should't let that be
why I do it
if I had a scheme
I broke it
I don't want to be
another fawning fantasie
I falter enough as
it
is
I need
that peace upon me but I know,
Much like my faith in the Son,
that peace can only come
when it is full.
But how do I know, I
ask myself, that I can trust you ?
You Lie, like everyone, but better
and yet-
I know.. because
something in th
Current Residence: Houston, TX Favourite genre of music: almost all- rock, jazz, blues, classical Favourite photographer: Matt Swindle Operating System: XP MP3 player of choice: creative zen nano Shell of choice: abalone Wallpaper of choice: silver with seashells in a 1968 bathroom Personal Quote: There's a copyright logo? Oh, you're on.
Favourite Visual Artist
too many!!
Favourite Movies
Nightmare Before Christmas, PoTC, VG, Hitchhicker's, Highlander